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Review

just a list of movies i will watch or rewatch for the sake of writing a review here

• 13 ghosts
• 28 days later
• 30 days of night
• Addams family
• Alien
• An American Werewolf in London
• Basket case
• Black christmas
• Blade
• Blair witch project
• Braindead
• Cabin fever
• Cannibal holocaust
• Cannibal women in the avacado jungle of death
• Carrie 1976
• Child’s play
• Creepshow
• Critters
• Dawn of the dead
• Donnie Darko
• Dracula
• Dreamcatcher
• Edward scissorhands
• Elvria
• Faces of death
• Frankenhooker
• Frankenstein
• Friday the 13th
• Ghostbusters
• Ginger snaps
• Grave encounters
• Hannibal tv show
• Happy campers
• Hellraiser series
• Hostel
• House of wax
• I spit on your grave
• IT 1990
• Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter
• Killer Klowns from Outer Space
• Little shop of horrors
• Matrix
• May
• Motel hell
• Nightmare on elm street
• Nosferatu
• Orphan
• People under the stairs
• Pet sematary
• Phantasm
• Poltergeist
• Psycho
• Puppet master
• Re animator
• Repo: The Genetic Opera
• Rocky horror picture show
• Saw 4 onwards
• Scanners
• Shrooms
• Silence of the lambs
• Slither
• Suspiria
• Tales of the crypt
• Taxi Driver
• Terrifier
• The Evil Dead
• The entity
• The Satanic Rites of Dracula
• The burbs
• The devils rejects
• The exorcist
• The fly
• The grudge
• The hills have eyes
• The hunger
• The Invisible Man
• The munsters
• The omen
• The ring
• The shining
• The thing
• Tourist Trap
• Vampira
• Wicker man
• Wishmaster

WORDS: 222
GENRE: Slasher Horror
DIRECTOR: John Carpenter
RUNTIME: 1 hour and 31 minutes

michael myaers scared a generation, and it had been a long time since i had been scared by him so i knew i had to rewatch this classic for the sake of my reviews. so i did, and to be honest it was not that good.

i remember it being scary. yea i get the fact that i was a child when i watched it last but honestly it was so bad that it was just disappointing.

there’s been many of movies that just age so poor you have o watch and turn around to go “well that was a bit shit” and this movie was one of those movies.

the most memorable song in horror came from this movie, it’s not a bad song however the constant use of it even when nothing bad is going on gets really annoying after the second time.

a lot of the lines in the movie are laughably bad and it honestly makes me feel like no one was paying attention to the first one when we were kids or something.

still love you michael though you were much better and relatable in rob zombies recreation of halloween, which i will definitely have to revisit now. maybe the reason i think the classic version is so bad is because rob zombie spoiled me so much.

WORDS: 523
GENRE: Slasher Horror
DIRECTOR: Rob Zombie
RUNTIME: 1 hour and 50 minutes

“i like the mask cuz it hides my face.”

this was the movie i mentioned in the previous review, a rob zombie remake of halloween. i absolutely love this movie, rob zombie did an amazing job remaking this story. everything the original movie lacks, this movie has.

to start things off, they finally stop playing that song every second that something relatively “scary” is happening or is about to happen, the people in this story are more human because and less robotic, the story in this movie makes so much more sense, and lastly the gore is obviously much more realistic and makes more sense.

i know that the original had so little gore because of the limits of what they could put in movies back then, but it’s still a great thing to have once more. i’ll stop comparing the films from now on because i’m sure you get the point now.

the worst thing i have to say about this movie is that the amount of sexual jokes that the assumed to be teenagers make is extremely uncomfortable. a lot of these jokes have the girls to be moaning and saying stuff you should only be saying to your partners.

also the amount of sex scenes with these teens is kinda crazy, i know that’s something that happens in the first original film but it just really sticks out to me more now because the actors look even less like adults.

they only mention the main teenager girl they follow around to be “graduating this year” near the very end section of the film so you can either assume she’s 18 or even worse 17, it all just makes me really uncomfortable.

apart from the gross jokes i adore the way this movie humanizes this entire story. michael mayers is no longer a “heartless monster” with no backstory n only a will to kill. he’s a boy with issues, trauma, and disorders, and a lot of all three things.

we get to see the entirely of michael’s life as well as his family. you can empathize with him and everyone involved even when michaels an awful person. i find him to be very relatable and i see myself a lot in this character and his issues, as well as the whole mask this obviously.

i love the fact that we finally get an explanation for michael mires wearing the iconic mask other then he found it somewhere and just started using it, and the fact that it helps him distance makes so much more sense. i absolutely love the look of his prison cell covered in his own arts and crafts of masks.

i like that he finds comfort in them and i think i relate to that a lot. i think it’s intresting how he goes non verbal when he’s going to kill someone, i can appreciate that much more then when they say some cheesy line like jeff the killer.

another honorable mention in this movie is when michael is about to kill his sister and she’s listening to don’t fear the reaper, i love that song so much.

WORDS: 336
GENRE: Thriller Horror
DIRECTOR: Clive Barker
RUNTIME: 1 hours and 33 minutes

something that i didn’t expect much in this movie was pinhead being a side character, him being on the cover and all i was expecting more of him but i did love everything i did see of him.

i think that this goes on through a lot of the movies with the story kind of lacking in whatever the hell is going on backstory wise with the box and the guys but that may be just me.

the most memorable thing of this movie is the amazing practical effects in this film. the first appearance of frank is absolutely disgusting and i love it.

him inside of the attic was such a good idea because of how amazing the light reflecting off of his slimy and bloody exterior looks.

i love the way you can see his body slowly building up throughout this movie and i have such a deep interest with anatomy its just something i love. i think frank is an awful person and does not deserve julia.

julia is so beautiful i found it distracting, i love the way she dresses, her makeup, just everything about her. she’s beautiful and she’s got so many emotions through the movie she really feels like a real person because her story, and i do like her husband larry.

i can’t hate him because he’s larry and that name just means to much to me and he seems so kind and just wants a happy life for him and his wife.

i feel so awful for him the entire movie because he has no idea his wife is practically cheating on him but at the same time i can’t be upset with her because she’s so beautiful.

the entire look of this movie is absolutely beautiful, the film and quality is so 80s and i have nothing bad to say about it at all. everything sparkles and has a charm to it. i recommend this movie to you.

WORDS: 250
GENRE: Psychological Horror
DIRECTOR: Bernard Rose
RUNTIME: 1 hour and 41 minutes

candyman not something i expected to be good because i haven’t heard of it so often.
so honestly i wasn’t expecting much quality, but as the movie went on i found myself relating a lot to the protagonist.

a lot of people spreading lies and misinformation about her and her knowing the truth meanwhile what everyone was saying turned out to be true.

she had no idea what the truth was because she was entirely consumed by her mental illness with no clue.

i felt this happen to me a lot in sally face with the addison apartment murders. everyone thought i was insane, crazy, and that i had completely lost all empathy.

the truth was that i hadn’t and something really fucked up happened.
i’m not entirely open to discussing the murders because they’re a very traumatic moment in my life but looking back on them.

i’m sure you could understand me coming to a conclusion that it wasn’t right or wrong more of a morally grey character moment which is exactly what the protagonist of candyman had.

delusion plus mental issues are a strong thing that can really cloud a persons judgment. it can be really blinding, it was a very thought provoking movie because during the film you can’t really tell who’s in the wrong or right.

some of the lines in this movie are really good and i found myself writing them down so i could remember them. i found candyman inspiring and fun to watch.

WORDS: 338
GENRE: Sci-Fi Horror/Thriller
DIRECTOR: Paul Verhoeven
RUNTIME: 1 hours and 52 minutes

this movie makes you question what you would do if you could do anything and no one would know if it were you, intrusive thoughts and all.

on one hand, i absolutely loved every part of it. the aesthetic in the movie was everything i absolutely love, neon toxic injections in a room full of 2000s bulky tech that looks like it was all made for the windows 90 computer.

the fact you can see the internal parts of him when he turns invisible, the look of the metal walls with so much metal equipment, old technology all over the place, medical malpractice, i really loved that all so much.

the movie really caught my attention, when i was watching i found myself watching the screen the entire time though most the time im doing something else like drawing or texting or whatever. the visuals just really made it worth it.

the story on the other hand, not as good. don’t get me wrong though the characters were really memorable and had really well written connections to each other.

there was a bit of a love triangle going on between three characters and normally i really hate when there’s any sort of romantic connection between characters in horror movies because it’s so forced but these two were really in love and i actually found it adorable for a straight couple.

very rare find of a straight couple that i enjoy in movies because i find it difficult to relate to. despite that, and the story not being good, i love them a lot.

i’ve never watched any invisible guy movie but im sure if i had, a lot would be very similar to this. the plot is basically him thinking he can do all of his intrusive thoughts because he’s invisible.

it’s just like american psycho but with a ton more sexual assault. he slowly becomes more and more evil, but to be honest he never seemed like a good person because he was such a narcissist before.

WORDS: 833
GENRE: Satire Drama
DIRECTOR: William Hellfire and Joey Smack
RUNTIME: 1 hours and 41 minutes

i learned two things from watching this movie. the first would be don’t trust random blogs on the internet, the second is that it is not impossible for a movie to just be genuinely awful.

don’t watch this movie. it’s not worth your time, even as a joke. the shock value wears off fast then your stuck watching a slow softcore porno version of columbine. terrible porn acting included.

this was quite possibly the worst movie i have ever seen, and the reason i decided to watch it because i saw some gifs of it on tumblr.

im ashamed i do admit that i do like the visual effect of the camera used to record the movie but this is just because it was a cheap camera from 1999.

i read on like that this film was made with a 3k dollar budget and was written and directed by the men who play two main characters in the film, and holy fuck. it shows. i watched this movie with my boyfriend and we had joked throughout it that they had a 3 dollar budget, because that’s genuinely what it feels like.

the thing about new artists (i say this because it’s clear that they’re young) passion projects is that they can be extremely creative and well made even with a small budget as long as they have a lot of time and heart put into them. this movie is lacking all heart and time.

i believe another reason this move is so bad is that it came out in 1999, clearly because of the columbine massacre that happened a few months earlier to its release they probably rushed out a film to make way in the news or to make money? i’m unsure.

there was also multiple movies the “factory 2000” produced that year, i’m not sure how much time i want to put into those films because honestly in duck alone each minute felt like 30 but id be more than willing to bet that they are all of the same quality.

i could not wait for this movie to be over, the acting is genuinely horrifying to watch, if you haven’t seen this movie (don’t watch it) imagine you’re in high school and your in drama class and the entire class is just some kids who hate drama and acting but want the easy credit. and now imagine you made a movie. its not even a film thats “so bad its good” because its all just bad.

each character is poorly written because there is no depth to their personality or life, they have a school stereotype they fit under and one thing they like and thats it. there is one religious girl who believes in god and wants people to attend her religious school club. thats it. there’s a jock, and he loves spam. that’s it. there’s a goth kid and well he’s goth. that’s it.

there’s an african kid and he’s pretty cool, he’s supposed to be the kid’s enemy but he was the funniest character and most sensible in the movie. he has a shirt that says “i hate white people” and he takes the nazi kids hitler book (because the main characters are nazis like eric and dylan were like zero day and columbiners like to forget) and he tosses it into the ground. he says he hates everyone cuz they’re all a bunch of annoying white people.

it’s funny to me how they portray him asthe only character with depth while supposedly being the enemy of the boys. it all goes down the drain when they shoot him and say they think his brains will be a different colour because he’s african and they put some blue brain looking wool when he gets shot but you know. it’s like of impossible to get anything good in this film. i don’t like the amount of negativity in this review so i’m gonna say my favourites of this movie, as little as there is.

the religious girl in the movie while she’s kind of annoying at first her acting is genuinely the best in the entire film, her screaming sounds real when it’s needed and she has emotions and wishes and does more then laugh at the nerdy kids or the loners. there’s two scenes in this movie that i genuinely love a lot.

the first scene is where nothing of significance happens and the religious girl ends up in a metal concert at a bar somewhere and their music is incredible. this scene made me so excited but i think that’s just cuz i love metal sm.

the other scene that i liked a lot was when the two main characters go to somewhere? and are looking to purchase guns from this mafia stereotype and there’s this entire display they do of each gun they can get with a naked lady holding it.