The Earth is hungry. Its heart throbs and demands cleansing.
WARNING
This site contains content not approved for consumption by children, senators, religious leaders and/or other easily
damaged psyches, those seeking to enhance or establish political careers and/or possessed of delusions of
grandeur. If accidentally exposed, flush eyes with cold water and induce vomiting. If irritation persists,
sit quietly and watch PBS. Not for internal use. This site and its related products/propaganda are
GUARANTEED not to make you go blind, masturbate (and THEN go blind), become a social
liability, induce you to act out atrocities that you would otherwise never indulge in, or
burn eternally in hell. Running With Scissors accepts NO responsibility for any
and all random acts of stupidity or violence committed by losers who
may blame popular entertainment media and/or sugary snack
foods for causing their inherent basic lack of control.
You're on your own. Thank you and goodnight.
What the fuck is postal?
Postal was the peak of the 90s edge factor. A bunch of news companies have titled their
articles about postal along the lines of “Gaming's wildest & most offensive franchise
of all time” so that should tell you exactly what you should expect from this game.
Postal is what the media would call a mass shooting simulator and what I would call
my favourite game ever. The inside cover of the first game reads:
“Welcome to paradise... Arizona. They're out to get you (or are they?)
It doesn't matter, you don't have time to think, only time to kill. GO POSTAL!!
Blast, maim and fire-bomb your way through 17 unsuspecting locations from
a small town to a heavily guarded military complex... Conspiracy or insanity?
Don’t get too crazy - this killing spree is anything but senseless,
the locals are packin' - so take advantage of the third person "premeditated”
perspective that lets you see exactly who's cold and who's still able to pull a trigger.”
My Headcanons
I have a lot of headcanons bla bla bla I haven't got them all down yet this is just filler text you get the idea
My Reviews
Postal 1997
The first game has to be my favourite game out of the entire series for the
story alone. I really love everything about it, the look, the quotes, the
gameplay, the games soundtrack, I love it all. If I were to be asked which
postal Dude is my favourite I would say this games one, or redux since
they're the same game. The only complaint I have ever had while playing
the game is that it's a bit hard to get used to the controls if you’ve never
played it before. It took me a lot of tries to understand how to play the game
on my first playthrough but after that it was all very easy. Welllll that
and when the level is almost done and you have one person left to kill so
you go around the entire map looking for them in order to take them out but
after a while of walking around and around the number goes down to zero
because they were not actually there they were just dying off and
didn’t count as dead yet.
Postal Redux
See above, they're practically the same game other than the ending.
That being said, I’ve heard a lot of people complain that when postal
redux had its ending changed it was RWS way of becoming like every other
company and being soft. If you're a real postal fan you know that's not true.
It's really just because the first ending became too expected because of how
often that became an occurrence in America when postal redux came out and even
till this day. Personally I think that both endings to both versions of the
game were great and I wouldn't have them any other way. I also love how the
redux dude/the first dude has long hair, I think he looks really hot. I wish
that he had long hair for every single game. I don't know why they even changed it.
I tried my best to write this so if you haven’t played you’re not getting any
spoilers but you already know what I’m talking about if you have played.
Postal 2
The best way to describe this game in one sentence would be a quote by Dude.
"Yeah, well crack doesn't buy itself." Postal 2 dude is like my deadbeat dad
that I only hang around with to steal cigarettes from his faggot purse.
This is the most popular postal game and I definitely don't think it's overrated,
but I do think the other games deserve the same amount of love. It feels completely
different from all of the other games I’ve mentioned here so far though.
For this game you have to go out through the week and complete daily tasks
that postal dude's “wife” gives you at the start of the day. It doesn't sound
the most fun but it really is. Postal two is super entertaining and I wish that
it was multiplayer so I could have even more fun with my friends, that's the
only bad thing I have to say about the game which is saying something because
I love to hate. I heard they're gonna release a multiplayer mode like they did
in the past with the “Share the pain” DLC but I honestly don’t even remember
where I heard that so I can’t count on it very much sadly.
Also I love the DLCS too very much, they are so worth it if you're considering it.
Postal 3
Working on this review, I wanna finish the full game first.
Postal Royale
Working on this review, I wanna finish the full game first.
WARNING 
